Monday, March 19

constant state of confusion

overlooking some of my latest posts i have noticed that i am a little bit of a complainer these days. which is funny because whenever i write in a journal i always only write the positive and never the negative. so then why, when it comes to blogging, i am ready to spew forth anything that is bothering me? and people actually read my blog, you would think it would be the other way around that i would only want to share the positive.
really last week was not that bad, just some of the events were annoying and i only blogged about them. this weekend, however, was a little patience trying. velz was a little less than the angel that i am used to. she has been super whiny. she would go to the kitchen and cry at the fridge because she wanted food, but i had her on the brat diet, she would go to the front or sliding glass door and cry because she wanted to go outside, she would just whine and do that annoying "uh, uh, uh" and point at nothing but everything and cry when we would take her away from whatever she wanted. needless to say i am so confused. should i take her to the dr's (they said wait 10 days)? is she still sick? does she have an ear infection? are her little teeth that are coming through hurting? does she have allergies? does she just not like us anymore? i have thought of a thousand things that could be bugging her and i just don't know what it is. i find myself in a constant state of confusion, parenting is a constant state of confusion. last week Megg hit the nail right on the head when she wrote:
Welcome to parenthood, Ry. You are about to join the ranks of people who 1) don’t have a clue what they’re doing 2) wonder how other people seemingly do it so well and 3) are constantly questioning what the “right” thing to do is. Come on, what’s not exciting about that?
but it is a new week, and i am bound and determined that it's going to be a good one. it's warming up some, so hopefully we can go outside and play a little more and hopefully velzy's throw up is a thing of the past along with any and all of her other physical ailments. yep, i can feel it, it's going to be a better week.


Missy said...

I understand Ash! Avery has been being weird to and it is so hard to not know what they are wanting/needing and you've got to wonder if they will return back to their normal angelic-selves. They will though, I'm sure of it.

I hope this week gets better and I really had not noticed you complaining at all...

Chanel said...

You know I think you might have something with the "she doesn't like us anymore", THAT has to be it! You're a genius! SOOOO FUNNY!
I love that you're real and not "journal perfect"- I am the same way, so when I look back in my journals to see how I did something with Julia, its all primrose and perfect, it couldn't have been that easy could it???

It will be a great week- I feel it!

Meggan said...

Oh! I feel so famous being quoted on another's blog. Cool, thanks!

I hadn't noticed you complaining either, but I think that's one of the best things about blogging. Who wants to hear how perfect everything is all the time? I don't for sure. It's a way to bounce of your thoughts and get some input, like you would to real friends. Keep up the complaining!

You would really think that by the third time around, I could have figured out some things. I guess I have in some areas, but others, Dylan is really throwing me for a loop. He keeps biting me and my nipple is all bloody. I don't know how to stop it. He is waking up multiple times a night...regressing back to the newborn stage sleep and I'm not sure what to do about that either because he already goes to sleep on his own. So, anyway, my point is, who knows what Velzy's deal is. Sometimes we older people just have bad weeks for no good reason...maybe because of a combination of things. I think she'll come around again. And I think you know her well enough to know if you should take her into the doc again. If you just feel like things are still off with her health, take her in. She is having that strange throwing up thing a lot this winter and if the brat diet isn't working, maybe she is in pain from her ears or teeth or whatever.

Good luck, Ash! And yes, welcome to parenthood.

Ton said...

yeah, parenting is HARD. None of us know what the heck we are doing.

Candace said...

Oh man, it's a constant guessing game.

I think journaling is great when we are real. Our kids, and especially our daughters, will want to know that we went through the same stuff as mothers. We have insecurrities & doubt ourselves, but the cool thing is that we do it because we love these kids so much.

You haven't been complaining. Don't worry about it. You're probably feeling that late pregnancy tiredness. No energy to deal with it all.

Jen said...

I get you! I hope it's a better week fr all of us. This whole not talking thing until you're 2 or so is ridiculous. Can you just tell me what you need already kid? That's how I feel sometimes too! I pray all our kiddos get better soon.

Lisa Michelle said...

Hope it's a better week over there!! We are thinking of you guys!