a long time ago i wrote a post about how velzy was the best kid in the world cause she went to be so well, i was so proud of her. then oh how things changed. i don't even remember when this change happened, it was sometime after we moved to hawaii. she mastered the art of "stalling techniques" as we like to call her efforts to stay up. so, we have a very detailed bed time routine- bath, vitamins, brush teeth, read books, go potty, say prayers, drink of water, bed.
after the routine is when the fun begins. she either lays in bed and yells "mom" "fix my blanket" "i need a drink" "i have a knot (in her hair)" or she gets out of bed to come bug us. it has gotten out of hand lately. it's so annoying. i have no patience after 7:30. i am done being a mom. done being nice. and patience is a virtue that i have lost. i feel bad about this, i really do. but, i feel like i am a pretty good mom during the day. i don't do much for myself when the girls are up. for most of the day the world revolves around them and we have a lot of fun. of course i lose my patience with them during the day but i like to think i cool down fast and move on.
anyways, back to be time. velzy also has gotten back into twirling her hair and getting massive knots in it. she comes out of her room sometimes 6 or 7 times with knots in her hair for me to get out. at least she is not pulling them out like she used to but they are huge knots and it's gross and she is still losing hair. i feel bad because i know that she does not voluntarily twist her hair- she has been twisting hair since she was 2 months old and old self-soothing habits are hard to break. all velzy wants is long and pretty hair but that is hard to have when you put knots in it that have to be cut out or even if i can get them out some hair falls out or is broken. we started putting 3 pig tails in her hair so that she couldn't twist as much. this works to a degree but she will still manage a knot or two a night. lately i have been thinking about shaving her head. that way she would not be able to twist it at all and maybe she could get over the habit? the promise of letting her dye her hair pink when it grows long and pretty is apparently not enough to get her to stop twisting on her own. the bed time do:
once again, back to bed time. the other day i read on some blog (have no idea who's) about some nice mom who's child asked them to snuggle with them a little as she was putting them to bed and she wrote "how could i say no to that?" umm, i say no every night. see, i am a crappy mom. i just don't want to snuggle at the end of the day with any little people. i mean, i have been hung on, body slammed, snuggled, wrestled, or been giving piggy back rides all day long and i want a break, go to bed.
last week luke and i gave talks in church. i ran across this quote in preparing for it from Harold B Lee: "When you raise your voice in anger, the Spirit departs from your home." this hit me like a ton of bricks and popped into my head a lot this last week. especially at times like tonight when velzy lay in bed screaming "MOM" for no good reason, keeping her sister awake and yelled. i am trying to work on that. but could velzy also try to work on going to bed, please?
anyways, lovely up lifting sunday post, huh?
and one more quote that hit me like a ton of bricks from Brigham Young:
"our families are not yet ours. the Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever. what we do on earth, determines weather or not we will be worthy to become heavenly parents."