Thursday, January 22

my thoughts lately

how to raise the perfect girl.
which is probably totally different for every mother of a little girl, i am sure my deffiniton of a perfect girl is way different than yours. random sampling of what is in my definition of the prefect girl: to not be afraid to drop-in on a over-head wave, confident and comfortable with who she is, be willing to take care of business in the great outdoors- or public lake settings (sorry about that mom), cook nutritious and delicious meals, don't be afraid to sweat or get dirty, find joy in woman and motherhood, be selfless not selfish...
i am sure that depending our interest and experiences in life have been, we all want and value different things in life, which reflects how we want our children to end up.

while sitting watching velzy at gymnastics the other day- did i mention she is in gymnastics? she loves it and it's so funny watching her, especially jumping on the trampoline where her long, skinny legs fly all over the place and she has no control. it's hysterical. anyways, i was sitting listening to one mom talk to another- i am a big eavesdropper- about all this drama with her friends and how they blocked her from some online group and then her family drama, and complaining about watching her kids, when it occurred to me- her daughters are probably going to turn out just like her. i know, not everyone ends up like their mother, but it seems to me that the apple usually does not fall far from the tree. and she is probably a nice person, i just don't want to hang with her. did i back-peddle enough?
this whole eavesdropping experience made me think about my girls and how i hope they will keep a good head on their shoulders through whatever life has to hand them. i hope that-even if they don't want to surf, or like to cook- they will be genuinely happy, kind people. and for the time being, it is up to me to set a good example of these things. and that my friends, is a little scary.

21 comments:

Mahina said...

i think a lot about how my girls will turn out. what type of people will they be when they are grown up. it's a huge responsibility we have as parents and i just pray for a ton of help and hope they will remain strong in the gospel and be examples for good! but you are so right that we are the example and that worries me sometimes!

.Ang. said...

I read recently that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!

I mean that in a GOOOD WAY!!

You are a pretty amazing women!

I'm sure you're offspring will be just as great because of your example!

echo said...

i like your definition. those are all things i hope addy has as well. i really hope she is better about water than i am too (did you know that i don't do water?)
i do want her to love getting dirty and know how to throw a ball and how to shoot a gun, along with baking bread and stuff like that.
i think you are a great example to your girls and they will be awesome if they turn out like you (which i am sure they will)

on an unrelated note...you and luke were in my dream last night. what is up with us having dreams about each other? mine though is not a funny or as graphic as yours was.

Brie said...

ash..any girl would be stoked to have you for a mom..and they'll be pretty lucky to end up like you. You're my hero!

Stephanie J. Robertson said...

yeah, i feel like i am such a mess sometimes and that that is unacceptable because my child is around me all day everyday and has no choice but to pick up some of my characteristics so i better get it together! :) easier said than done and everyone messes up, but i guess we can only try our best. i feel like i always have to commit myself to trying harder to be better... like everyday. not easy, but i guess that's what we signed up for when we decided to become parents. man, i like your thoughts. i wanna do better with all this parenting stuff! :)

liko said...

we all have our human moments as mothers. but if your girls turn out being just a little bit similar to yourself, they'll be fine.

Erika said...

You're girls are going to turn out great since they have such a fun and cool mom to teach them along the way. I'm always worried about the kind of example I'm setting for my girls and hope that I don't do too much damage along the way...

Namchee said...

great thoughts ash...another reason i am SO glad you had the kiddies first so you can tell me how to raise em...and I KNOW those girls are gonna turn out rad..how can they not with my 2 fav/coolest people in the world runnin around with them!

chanel said...

oh man Ash, i don't think you have anything to worry about, your girls have THE coolest mama in the world! I can't say if they'll do all those things you'd like them to, but they can't help but turn out super rad, just in how you've already lived it up with them shows tremendous positive influence. They're amazing girls.

and i am with ya on your hopes, except for the taking care of business in the great outdoors- i'd irritate you to no end- i just don't get how to do it!!! sorry! i am very good at holding it though! :)

heidi said...

i can't imagine they will be any less than your desires--if anything they will probably surpass them all! i guess its different when you are the mom though--i worry a bit about that stuff too. #1 like you said is happiness and genuinely good kind people. amen to that.

Shannon said...

Your are such a fun and great mom Ash! Hey, we just got d-land passes too, lets go!

The Trotter Family said...

That's all that is important. You are such a good mom. It is so cool how much you dedicate your time and effort to their happiness!

Jen said...

Your apples will be the best of the bunch!

You are the most fun mom, how could they not turn out great?

Melissa said...

sometimes I wish that someone else who was a lot cooler, more fun, patient, kind etc etc etc could raise her, so that she would turn out to be much better than me and then give her back when she's learned all of these habits. I already see her picking up habits from me that I don't like about myself. BUt hopefully I can teach her good things, too. It's a huge responsibility.

Smiths said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Smiths said...

I get sobered by the thought of these sweet and amazing little people getting the bulk of the important stuff from me- yikes. When I get to thinking the worst I remember that I have some awesome people helping me along the way to give other examples of ways to live a generous happy life. Hopefully they can do as I say and not as I do:) I think that your eavesdropping story is exactly why Micah and I haven't gathered many friends here. I guess there is good in everyone and hopefully the kids will pick up that stuff and leave the rest.

Autumn said...

Love your thoughts! I always say I hope my girl has bigger balls then me, ha! ha! The whole no fear thing and I can do anything a man can and probably better, ha! ha!
But despite all that I always say I hope my kids are kind, thoughtful and respectful. Not sure I should of been picked to teach them that, hee! hee!

Autumn said...

Hey- funny thing is the pier was actually good that day! Thought it would be crap but there was this window, Brett called to tell me to go since he has a view from the restaurant, way bigger than I expected, definitely head high and bigger, a little nervous cause my son was with us, and I had too big of a board, road my 7/3, needed something to duck dive! Bummed I didn't make it to Kaia's party either, I was working/training all week. I can't wait for summer as well! However, I am going to Utah in March to snowboard, so that is one bonus of winter! Talk soon!

Aubrey Jane said...

My Mom had 4 daughters in 3 years and I thought that we all turned out really good. Then I had a daughter of my own who acts just like me. And sometimes it's just not pretty! I've realized more and more lately that you have to set a good example in your home as well as in public. That's the hard part for me. I'm sure that your girls and Islay will turn out just fine (with a little elbow grease and prayer anyway)!

Meg and Corbin said...

I love your definition of a perfect girl. I have to admit when I found out I was having a girl I was a little nervous. I am not super girly and also have a fear of princesses, barbies and pink. But whenever I would look at your blog and see you with your girls I would get excited! So thanks for setting such a good example of how to raise cool girls! I am glad you guys are coming back to da kine, and didn't move for good!

In.A.Nutshell said...

1. i like you and you're a WAY good mom.
2. princesses scare me.
3. can you believe we're mothers!?
4. yep, only had three things to say.