Monday, May 19

some deep water cleansing

"me rest a little bit"


remember that 103 temp that velzy had last week? she still has it, fluctuating between 100-103, and all of the whiny, sad, emotional side-effects that come with feeling like junk. we just went to the dr's and everything looks good. i am always confused. one minute she is jumping on the bed, the next she cries when ivy touches her and has a total meltdown. it really is sad.
the later part of last week however, i was sooo not sympathetic towards her. she had the temp., but was acting semi-fine and so i just got really frustrated when she got clingy and whiny all the time. then saturday morning came around and she woke up at 5:15. it is always fun when your kid wakes up with black circles under their eyes, whiny, and all you can think about is how much fun the upcoming day is not going to be if it starts out like this. i think i might have hit my mothering low point on saturday morning. after mother's day when i had resolved to be the best mom ever, i somehow did a 180 and had no patience, sucked at being a mom and i told luke that i didn't want to be a mom for the day. like i said, low point, i was so frustrated.
luckily for me (and luke and the girls) we have the bestest babysitters named ga-ma and betsy that live next door and they are soooo sweet and take the girls all the time. so luke and i took off and went surfing, twice. for me, the ocean is the best healer. there is just something about being in the water that makes everything better. we surfed turtle bay in the morning (or i did at least, luke dinged his board duck diving on the shallow reef and had to sit on the cliff and watch me surf). and then a few hours later we had the most all-time fun day ever out at piddlies (how do you spell that???). i am not joking, if i could re-live saturday's surf over and over and over, i would be so stoked. we brought out the single fin and longboard and swapped. i got the best/longest nose ride of my life. the water was warm and there was no wind. there was only 4 other guys out and lots and lots of waves.... i could go on and on, it was that much fun.
i came home a much happier camper. and was ready to climb up from that motherhood low point that i had reached that morning. so today when she woke up at six- she was sleeping in my bed and i on the couch beacause she woke up screaming in the night with a high temp and took my place on the bed- i had a lot more patience. she laid on me from start to end of the jungle book, and i was truly happy to be there.
i also realized that velz reminds me of mogley. and since this is how she laid one me all morning, i totally think they could be brother and sister- with their scruffy hair, skinny little legs and arms, and love of running around with nothing much on.

10 comments:

Da Denninghoff's said...

Yeah, I'm so happy that you got to go surfing. Sometimes we just need some time to our self so we can serve a bit better. That was me this morning, Eve has been waking up at 3, 4, and 5 in the morning. I about lost it today, but Mark gave me some time to myself today and guess what I bought ash? Yup my dream camera! I'm in love, and can't wait to go snapping away.

liko said...

i think me and every other mom out there can relate to the frustration. and then we realize that we do need time to ourselves, for our sake and everyone else's. it's not being selfish, it's staying sane.

liko said...

oh, and i do hope that velzy feels better soon, the most stressful times for me are when they are sick.

Denae said...

Oh Ash. So how do you do it with 2?? She's sick & needs all the attention, so what happens to Ivy? and how is Ivy not sick too? And I'm pretty sure that every mom is aloud a "I don't want to be a mom" day occasionally. And if surfing is the antidote, then fix it right up. Too bad St.Louis doesn't really have an antidote for us. We're working on it though.

Keli'i and Megan said...

Yes, I relate. Too many sad babies and one really cranky mom- ME! So, running is my ocean. Getting outside and away. Sometimes I even love going to work- sad huh? But that's VERY rare! You're such a great mom. I think we need to hang out more...we live like two seconds away...why's it so hard?

Stephanie J. Robertson said...

waking up ridiculously early with a whiny child is a recipe for a cranky mom in my experience! i am glad you got to have that perfect experience- those are so important. you are a great mom and i like reading an honest blog because i alway feel the same exact way as you- it's a nice break from feeling like i am the only one who has ups and downs- everyone does- but not everyone is brave enough to say so. :)

karebear said...

Every mom needs a brake! I totally get the frustration. Thank goodness for surfing, huh! I'm so glad you got some awesome surf...there's nothing in the world that would make me happier. And I feel so sad for Velzy. Being sick really sucks. She's a fighter though, I can tell!=)

Molly Malia said...

that was me and jord this weekend... she was so up and down and so was i... not fun even at five years old it's had for her to tell me what she wants with out throwing a fit.

Katie said...

Oh my gosh, you and I have so much in common, LOL! Mia has been way fussy and clingy with teething and dealing with our move and everything. I've been sick and exhausted and it's been hard at times to be the patient loving mom that I set out to be. It's a good thing we're great moms MOST of the time. Poor little sick Velzy! I love her little pink kitchen by the way!

Jen said...

We all have 'em Ash! Sorry you had the sad baby, cranky pants, blues.

Makena had that same thing and then she had 5 really good healthy days then it came back hard as an ear infection. I felt SSOOOOOO bad!